I often talk to people who are really good at specific things.

And I wildly admire them for it.

But most of them know shit about happiness.

That’s my expertise.

And that’s also one of the reasons I’m not really interested in a lot of their reasoning and objections.

If those made sense, if they really knew how we work, they’d be a whole lot happier.

It’s just an obvious thing.

The result is that I tend to interrupt people regularly during conversations.

There also seem to be quite a few monologues coming out of my mouth.

I know that’s not very much appreciated in the world of coaching, but I’m not too bothered.

The way I see it, I’m working with people who have endless, dense layers of habits and ideas and preferences and biases, and they need to get past that or beyond that if they want sustainable relief.

Endless discussions are not really helpful, in general.

I just don’t want to spend a lot of time on old psychological pathways they have to unravel, or finding deep unconscious beliefs, because all of that’s just extremely vague, a lot of work, and you’re really never done anyway.

When people feel like shit it doesn’t make sense to me to endlessly talk about what triggered it, how long it’s been going on, how often it happened in the past, or how bad it actually feels.

What’s the use in spending countless hours exploring their pain and misery?

People already know that stuff intimately, they carry it around all day long.

If they want to be happier, more joyful, more relaxed and in general more inspired and fulfilled, that’s where we go.

As quickly and as powerfully as we can.

Being this direct and brisk and radical calls for a lot of experience and tact (yes, tact!).

I really respect and appreciate my clients, but they simply don’t know very well how to go about their wellbeing.

That’s why I demolish as many ideas and beliefs as I can.

For the greater good.

It’s a skill to be lovingly harsh.

It’s a very craftful and caring thing. taking people SO seriously that you know exactly how far you can go, how much they can handle, and how deep they can bend.

I guess it goes without saying that this way of coaching is not for everybody.

I’m never unfriendly or insulting, I can be extremely gentle, but some people just want a soft and sweet approach all the time, with a lot of room for talking about the past.

Not with me.

Because if you’re okay with the present, the past stops mattering so much.

Contact me if this sounds scary, but good, or good, but scary.

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(Photo by @bravoprince, for Unsplash)