What radical change is really about.

aug 23, 2022 | Addiction, Awakening, Coaching, English, Insights, Personal, Purpose and Meaning, Relationships, Spirituality, Typically Me

There’s a reason why I don’t do tips, tricks, and methods.

I know people.

And I know that this kind of advice is mostly delusional and disappointing.

We fool ourselves into believing magic will happen if we just invest a bit of time in reading something or watching something.

It won’t.

And here’s how I know.

I’m fortunate enough to be an incredibly focused guy with an almost unhuman amount of discipline and dedication.

I have been gifted with more tenacity and willpower than most people I’ve ever met.

And I STILL don’t get many things done, and learning new skills STILL takes me a shitload of time and discomfort (which, in many cases, I’m not willing to invest).

So that’s one thing, now for the other one.

I know exactly why tips and tricks pretend to help you out, and why they eventually don’t.

It’s because they simply create the smell of future success, for a little while.

They appear to be the imaginary bridge towards a new you.

But it’s just common sense (and probably your experience too) that the majority of people will lose interest within a couple of days, at best, and stop the attempts at making exciting new things happen.

By the way: that’s not meant to criticize anybody or to say that people are inherently weak.

This is simply how the human system works.

The brain actually quite dislikes learning things, especially when we’re a bit older, because it knows very well that picking up new stuff and making it into a household habit, will take a lot of energy.

Not good.

Energy should be treasured and only sparsely given away.

The brain wants things to be simple and straightforward, so it rather leads us towards the things we already know how to do, even if they are bad for our health, and even if they are the opposite of what we believe we want.

The brain doesn’t give a shit about your personal goals, and it simply doesn’t understand the concept of ‘the future’: it’s only concerned with now and what could be done to keep everything going, while holding on to precious energy.

So we don’t have to blame ourselves for this confusing process of really, REALLY wanting to learn something or go and do something differently, and then fall for the old behavior again before the new thing gets a chance to stick.

I know very well how hard this can be.

For over a year now, I’ve been working with a self-developed program to change my body, lose fat, become more vibrant, and get stronger and more muscular.

This is a loving investment in the amazing biological vessel that allows me to be on this planet, and because I honor it deeply, I want to keep it strong and fit.

(Oh, and there’s vanity involved, that too.)

I do intermittent fasting all the time (sometimes I also do a full fast for a couple of days), take cold showers, work out 6 days a week (both cardio and strength training), and I’m very cautious when it comes to eating sugar and refined stuff in general.

The results are absolutely there, but they’re not nearly as spectacular as I’d imagined after all this hard work.

There have been many moments in the last 12 months where I was deeply disappointed in the effect of my incredible dedication, and the idea of giving up seemed really enticing and even liberating.

But I hung in there, because that’s what I do.

I’ve somehow changed the scope of the program, I see it as an ongoing thing, and right now I’m entering my second year of transformation.

I’ve simply realized that it will take more time than I thought, because a 54-year-old guy with a long history of endless yoyoing and ruining himself with substances and bad habits, will have a hard time getting his body to trust him again and finally lose all the reserves it has been building up for harsh times.

It works, what I’m doing brings about change, but it’s excruciatingly slow, and I’d never tell people to follow my steps.

Why?

I know they won’t, in almost any case, and I respect people too much to pretend otherwise, so I’m not interested in fooling them.

With tips and tricks, for example.

The addiction to reading all these ‘nuggets of advice’, the stuff that is all over the fucking internet, comes from a deep misunderstanding.

And the misunderstanding is something like: if we buy a book with Spanish lessons, the book will teach us that language.

Or: if we buy a couple of weights, those weights (or a gym membership) will give us muscles.

Magically.

Sort of.

That’s not how it works.

And of course you know that, and most people do.

Still, we’re totally willing to shove that reality aside and dream about future results for a bit, while secretly regarding the tips and the tricks and the weights as the shortcut.

But the books and the weights and the blogs will do nothing for you.

Time and effort and dedication and breaking through your brain’s tendency to keep life comfortable and predictable will bring about changes (at least as long as we’re talking about physical changes or learning stuff on a factual level).

Books and tips and tricks never replace work and time invested, yet they feel like they do, and that’s why we gobble them up and keep investing in them.

They taste like magic pills when we lick them at first, but before we know it they start to taste bitter, and we toss them out of the window.

Unless we learn to do this differently.

And we absolutely can.

I became a really good copywriter and I built a career as a singer-songwriter, and it took me a tremendous amount of hard work.

I also wrote 8 books (and more are coming) and chiseled out a successful coaching journey that has lasted 7 years up till now, and will definitely last a lot longer.

I don’t mention it to brag, I just want to share how that came about.

The most important ingredient in everything I’ve ever achieved has always been enthusiasm.

The feeling of sweet curiosity and deep optimism, the vibrant energy of possibility, like an inner stairway to freedom.

Enthusiasm helped me stick to it when I got bored, and it was raw enthusiasm that got me through the many, many, MANY moments of disappointment, when nothing happened, the brain wanted to quit, and nobody gave a fuck.

Enthusiasm is what can help you to hang in there, and not give up.

So that’s what I coach, and what I do.

Exploring and establishing enthusiasm.

Not the stuff that sounds good on paper, not the shiny pills.

I coach what FEELS good and natural (because it is) and keeps you going for that reason, because it’s way more powerful than boredom and repetition and discomfort, all those things the brain can use to stop ‘wasting’ energy and help you to quit.

Tips and tricks and books can sometimes spark the flame, but they never keep it burning.

Now you know what does.

(Photo by @grahammansfield1, for Unsplash)