Lost in the non-existing trap.

mei 23, 2022 | Awakening, English, Insights, Personal, Purpose and Meaning, Spirituality, Typically Me

The searching movement has flared up again.

It has been raining insights lately, like sweet building blocks for less confusion and the disappearance of personal attachment.

They’re absolutely liberating and profound, even though they don’t really teach me more about what already is.

The ‘me’ that doesn’t really exist, of course.

I can sit in my bed contemplating The Moment, Being as The Now, and that’s where the rabbit holes seem to appear, effortlessly.

It starts with a little excitement about simply being Being, but soon it becomes more complicated in the name of understanding it.

And later on, simpler.

And after that: more confusing again.

For example: labeling what is, right now, is a good one (and we’ll get back to that one).

Trying to rest as Just Being is also excellent.

Realizing that all the attempts are nothing but creations within Being opens up new cans of seemingly spiritual worms.

And of course, there’s the ‘If this is so simple, why can it look so hard!’-type of mental noise.

Where ‘nuisance’ is, of course, nothing but another label, and labeling is of the person (therefore not enlightened), so there’s no pure Beingness going on.

Ad infinitum ugh.

And then I just feel great.

Huh?

Inevitably followed by the urgent tendency to find out what happened so I can forever own the feeling of great (probably ‘just’ being Beingness).

Which automatically fucks up the feeling of great.

All part of Beingness, of course.

But unfortunately, I want Beingness to behave in a more blissful way (even though there is no ‘I’ that wants anything, we all know that, the ‘we’ that don’t exist).

Which is, again, nothing but a seemingly important, fleeting experience in Beingness.

The Beingness that is everything.

And nothing.

And of course, eventually, there’s this tremendous notion of relief again.

‘It can’t be anything else than what’s happening now.’

Wow.

Feeling the immense simplicity of that.

The directness.

The obviousness.

‘I know that I know that I don’t know’ and all that.

Another Wow.

Beingness is ready to reveal itself completely, profoundly, ultimately, and forever.

Oh yeah…

I am SO close…

Just this one, tiny nudge….

‘But you still have to make money, right?’

Fuck.

Hahahaha!

(Photo by @annamaiwald, for Unsplash)