It sucks to feel insecure.

To feel deeply inadequate.

Powerless.

Uninteresting.

Overwhelmed.

Weak.

And lesser than.

All those fucking things.

Standing there in agony and anxiety.

Feeling like you’re not up to the task, whatever the task is.

You’ve been there, right?

Oh, how we wish to be confident.

Confident!

Strong, powerful, unwavering.

Never afraid of anything, striding through life like giants.

Right?

Nah.

I’d say we’re very much misled.

We mostly believe that confidence is the absence of insecurity, nervousness, and doubt.

Always powerful and mighty, like a fast river or an ancient oak tree.

Something we have to grow into, to conquer.

But I don’t think that’s true.

And it’s also not a helpful pointer.

Confidence is not a specific state of mind or a way to deal with discomfort.

Confidence is knowing that you’re more than a fleeting sensation, whatever it is.

It’s absolutely unconditional.

It’s like carrying whatever happens for as long as it wants to be carried.

You don’t have to be tough, stoic, or cold.

You don’t even have to consider yourself to be confident.

Confidence happens when you’re hardly engaged with your thinking.

It’s life flowing naturally and mostly untainted.

It’s an experience of ease and uncomplicatedness.

And it’s not really a big deal.

Most children express it when they’re still young, this authentic attitude of not giving a fuck, and they don’t even know what it is or what it means.

It’s the grown-ups who suffer from it.

The human beings who seem to know everything.

Confidence means not being captured by comparing or judging and all other learned mental activities that put us in a particular position in relation to others.

Insecurity is nothing but being lost in a full mind.

It’s just a lot of noise, taken very seriously.

You don’t have to learn to be confident, to try and look confident, dress confident, or talk confidently.

All of that just takes a very natural thing and turns it into a performance or an achievement.

It’s not.

Confidence is our true nature.

You don’t have to develop it or earn it or fight for it.

I’m 100% sure.

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(Photo by @anniespratt, for Unsplash)