Why do we look at other people to find out what to do next?

How did THEY find out?

Is there an end to relying on second-hand adventures and borrowed wisdom?

I have no answers to these questions.

And even if I had, I’d urge you to not take them too seriously.

I have a Doubt Day.

This means that I doubt everything.

Me.

The world.

Me in the world.

Me doing stuff.

Me not doing stuff.

Stuff.

Finding the shortcuts.

And relishing in the longer, painful, exposing processes.

Trying to find the way out and the way in and the way whatever.

Whatever.

It’s raining.

I have books.

There are a couple of courses waiting for me to jump in.

The good old restlessness.

The never-ending (well, not really never, of course) race to greatness, and more greatness, and greater greatness.

I have been here before.

It is new, this day is new as new can be, but I have been here before.

We are so crazy, so beautiful, so confused.

Always looking for ways to feel safe.

Always wanting to know what to do next.

Even though we know perfectly well that next will be next no matter what.

I love this.

I love this exploration that doesn’t go anywhere and expands everything.

I love how we go from knowing it all to being crushed by profound ignorance and crushing uselessness.

I love.

We can think everything and believe everything.

And relief is around the corner.

Always.

Next.

—

(Photo @_nnaro_, for Unsplash)