Let’s talk about money and coaching and spirituality again.

I know most of you consider that to be a sensitive and painful triangle, so it’s good to open it up.

There are some misunderstandings I’d like to point out.

Ever since I started to coach, I have been influenced by and suffered from the ‘everybody should be allowed to have good coaching’-syndrome.

I really believed that it was up to me to help the world for free, or almost free.

And I was also convinced that it was more meaningful and worthy to ask for less money.

Like you almost have to be financially poor to be spiritually rich.

I no longer agree.

A couple of days ago I had a discussion via email with a guy who was looking for ‘therapy’, and after I had explained that I didn’t do that, why I believe coaching is much more practical and powerful, and what the minimum amount for his investment in my time would be, I didn’t hear from him anymore.

A bit later, after I had reached out again and asked why he dropped out of the conversation, he told me I was ‘one of those typical coaches that only think about money and are not interested in REALLY helping people’, and that was why he quit the conversation.

I emailed him back and told him my ideas about his ideas (it was quite direct and a bit ugly to be fair), but what is more important is how these misunderstandings and interpretations are always there, and how we, as coaches, can suffer from them.

Here’s the thing:

Free coaching is not better than really expensive coaching.

And it’s most certainly not ‘more spiritual’, because that is a really stupid and utterly subjective distinction.

Now I know that we, sensitive people with an inclination to live a meaningful and connected life, fall for this idea easily.

We hear it’s about all the poor people in the world, the disadvantaged people in the world, the many millions who have nothing, and the role we could play in their lives.

I get that.

It sounds cool and fuzzy.

And I feel the value of that notion.

But you shouldn’t have to get stuck in that magical altruistic loop if you don’t really want to, and it doesn’t have to define and limit your career choices.

It should be no more than an option, a choice.

I have coached people for free for years, I still give a lot away, and I am not telling you that to build a case for myself and my present fees.

I am telling you because it’s what I do.

It’s my personal mix, my combination of activities in the world, and it feels good because it feels good.

I am not Marnix Teresa and I am not Gandhi.

Whatever I do and charge and give is very individual, even very intuitive, and it should be for you too.

It’s just healthy.

For me, it feels good to have fees that reflect the ever-expanding value of my work (and of course this is subjective, but let’s be honest: everything is).

I am totally convinced that you should be able to decide for yourself what to do when it comes to everything in your life, including your fees, based on what feels good and fair and part of your unique journey.

It’s up to you, completely.

It’s up to you.

You shouldn’t have to feel forced to stay humble and financially challenged if you don’t really feel like that, and you don’t have to save the world if you don’t want to.

Or you save at least part of it, according to your preferences.

Or you don’t save any of it, and still have a meaningful life and career.

All of that is up to you, every little part.

I am on my way to being a coach for leaders and people in power and other men and women with unique challenges and responsibilities, extremely smart human beings that operate on a very high level AND somehow feel that life can be richer from within.

I call it Executive Enlightenment.

I never planned any of this, it just happened and I embrace it fully.

I LIVE my profession, I am extremely and probably even obsessively dedicated to my job, and it feels completely natural and logical to keep charging more and more because I am getting better and better.

My fees are now higher than four weeks ago, and a lot higher than a year ago, and these shifts always mean that some people get pissed off.

But I no longer feel forced to do what I am supposed to do in the eyes of many others, to behave like an amateur Mandela, or to be holier than holy.

Even though coaching is my calling and I am absolutely beyond stoked whenever I do it or think about it or learn about it, it is also my business.

There will always be people who say you are too expensive and you should do this or that because the world is a bad place and you have a responsibility.

I disagree with this position, although I feel there IS a responsibility, but only towards yourself.

I really mean it when I say you can do whatever the fuck you want with your life.

You are free to make your own rules, in every respect, and free to call bullshit on whatever other people say is morally higher and ethically better.

Make your own decisions, because everything is made up anyway.

If you feel you are worth 10.000 dollars for a 15-minute conversation, ask it.

People who say that it’s unfair because there are so many men and women in need, are guilt-tripping you.

It’s stupid.

No person in the world has an obligation to work with you, you don’t force anyone, so if somebody feels that you are too expensive, that is fine.

No harm done.

Next.

It doesn’t mean anything.

It doesn’t say you are not really spiritual (I mean: come on!).

It doesn’t make you a selfish insensitive ego on legs.

That is all just a bunch of opinions.

Make your own rules, walk your own path.

This is a game, a beautiful game, so play it the way you want.

And if that means you want to coach the whole world for free, that’s totally awesome.

And if it means you only want to work with millionaires who are willing to generously compensate you, that’s awesome too.

Make this your game.

Play it however the fuck you want.

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(Photo by @natejohnston, for Unsplash)