‘Time doesn’t exist’, the guru says, ‘…let’s meet for another session tomorrow morning at 7.’

And you shake your head.

And you check your watch.

And you check your mind.

And it doesn’t make sense.

This fucking spirituality thing.

You’re supposed to be everything, perfectly ONE, but you’ve never felt this lost and separate and alone in your entire life.

Which is nothing but a mental story, of course.

‘You’re already enlightened!’ is what they happily tell you.

But what about this present miserable, shitty experience is actually Buddha-like?

The mind that has always been the primary thing, the center of everything, your guide, your warning system, the you-ness, is now fighting for its survival.

Even though it doesn’t really exist, according to the people who know.

The lucky ones.

So you’re trying to get rid of your mind.

You’re trying to run away from your ego.

You’re trying to accept everything exactly as it is, and sometimes there’s some relief and a bit of insight, but every time you become even the slightest bit comfortable, the whole fucking building starts to shake again.

‘Life just happens.’

‘There’s nothing to do, and nothing NOT to do.’

‘It is what it is.’

Sorry for the mess.

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(Photo by @philhearing, for Unsplash)