It happened many times before.

The liberating, expanding realization of

“Oh fuck, this moment, THIS experience, this life, is really all there is and there’s nothing I can do or even need to do!!”

BOOM!

Bliss.

Bliss bliss bliss.

Smile.

LOL.

Simplicity.

Relaxation.

One cloud in a blue sky.

Wow.

More bliss.

Just this.

And this.

Blisswow.

But…

………..

Wait a minute…

What if I don’t like this particular this?

What if I don’t feel good about what is?

How do I like what I don’t like?

How do I accept the unacceptable, and embrace the unembraceable?

How does this empower me?

And if there isn’t even a me, like the spiritual people say all the time, why does it feel so miserable?!

I fucking hate this now!

……..

And so it can happen, it WILL happen, that the sense of personal responsibility, the deep urge to feel safe and have control, kicks in again, and stresses you out.

And you’ll run around again, looking for answers and tips and tricks and ways to feel better.

And life is complicated again.

You have to make it work again.

Until.

Until the realization of

“Oh fuck, hahaha, I fell for it again! This, THIS, is really all there is and there’s nothing I can do or even need to do and it’s all okay even WHEN IT ISN’T!”

BOOM!

Bliss.

LOL.

—

(Photo by @ntaylor13, for Unsplash)