Today, when I visited YouTube, I felt really uncomfortable.

I have been hanging out there for many months now, mostly enjoying the shit out of it, but it wasn’t the same this morning.

And then I got it:

YouTube had slowly changed from a source of entertainment and inspiration and somewhat innocent distraction, to a place of constant comparison, lack, and judgment.

It’s like every video is telling me there is still something to learn.

To do.

To change.

To upgrade.

This is my self-created eclectic jungle of topics, artificially molded into a never-ending starting point that keeps me hooked.

Every video leads to a new one.

Every meditation ends with one more.

10 things all stoics do is conveniently followed by 15 things I can learn from billionaires.

YouTube can be just a gigantic pile of videos.

But I guess for many people it’s much, much more.

YouTube is either the engaging, sweet promise of a better life, or the soothing channel that takes your attention away from your miserable present one.

And although you can definitely learn a lot from visiting this limitless library of creation, it’s also there to distract and numb the fuck out of you.

I don’t really like that.

It’s like you are REALLY hungry but only get presented with an endless amount of menus.

You feel never really feel satisfied, because you never really get fed.

It’s like McDonald’s for the mind, always promising but ultimately disappointing.

So I guess that’s what I felt, today.

Dissatisfied.

Empty.

Stuck in a clickbait loop.

Fuck.

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(Photo by @nuvaproductions, for Unsplash)