{"id":48704,"date":"2023-03-16T11:44:13","date_gmt":"2023-03-16T11:44:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=48704"},"modified":"2023-03-16T11:44:19","modified_gmt":"2023-03-16T11:44:19","slug":"fear-is-an-excuse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2023\/03\/16\/fear-is-an-excuse\/","title":{"rendered":"Fear is an excuse."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I see it over and over again with some of my clients.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

They live fearful, uncomfortable, stressed-out lives and want to get rid of the anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They want to know why it\u2019s there, and how it can go away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They want to understand what they\u2019re afraid of so they can deal with it (although they\u2019re not really looking forward to that).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But most of the time there\u2019s not a good or satisfying reason, not a specific and really clear \u2018thing\u2019 out there that causes the anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I DO agree that you can overcome this type of fear by knowing what causes it, but what causes it is hardly ever a \u2018thing\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s how I appreciate it now:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The fear is giving you something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not really there because of a specific monster or a real threat, but it\u2019s simply there to keep you where you are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a mind trick.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The psyche has somehow identified a specific thing, goal, or even life itself as dangerous and unsafe and threatening, and it tries to contain you and keep you small and safe by creating anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anxiety tells you to \u2018stay as and where you are\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s what happens when the calculating part of your imagination reaches its limits of prediction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you look at it like that, there\u2019s an \u2018upside\u2019 to this kind of daily fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It prevents you from venturing out into the wild (aka the world that is full of tasty opportunities).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It prevents you from shifting your life because the change is believed to be overwhelming and difficult, and fear is the excuse to not go for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So there you have it:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Very often, fear is an excuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not an excuse you deliberately made up, and I don\u2019t mean it to sound like a morally questionable decision, but you\u2019re using it just the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unconsciously you do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fear is the best way to keep the status quo intact (feels safe).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fear is the ultimate defender of staying exactly as and where you are (feels safe).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fear is the thing you can point to when you say you\u2019d really like to live a different life, but you just can\u2019t (feels like shit, but also safe).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most of the time fear is ONLY warning you\u2026 for change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Would you like me to help you crush that disempowering story?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Are you done with your fear and inhibition, and are you longing to dream and do whatever the fuck you want to do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mail me<\/a> (and don\u2019t do it tomorrow).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

—<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photo by @saif71, for Unsplash)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I see it over and over again with some of my clients. They live fearful, uncomfortable, stressed-out lives and want to get rid of the anxiety. They want to know why it\u2019s there, and how it can go away. They want to understand what they\u2019re afraid of so they can deal with it (although they\u2019re […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":48705,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[99,102,97,96,117,100,116,113,107,103,112],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48704"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48704"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48704\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48706,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48704\/revisions\/48706"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/48705"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48704"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48704"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48704"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}