{"id":48612,"date":"2023-03-05T09:47:04","date_gmt":"2023-03-05T09:47:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=48612"},"modified":"2023-03-05T09:47:09","modified_gmt":"2023-03-05T09:47:09","slug":"the-glue-that-keeps-us-stuck","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2023\/03\/05\/the-glue-that-keeps-us-stuck\/","title":{"rendered":"The glue that keeps us stuck."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Many people have a lot of crazy thoughts.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s simply a very human thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have unhelpful thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Negative thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Murderous thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Crushing thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Undermining thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Critical thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Disempowering thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hateful thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And passive-aggressive thoughts, just to name a few.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We have many thoughts that seemingly undermine our experience of happiness and joy and freedom, thoughts we didn\u2019t ask for but arise in us just the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We hate the thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We hate them because they can make our lives almost unbearable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the thing is: they\u2019re not the biggest problem, actually.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not the thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The REAL problem is our judgment of our thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because the judgments are the element that makes everything feel so personal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Things like:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I shouldn\u2019t have these thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why are they still here, after years of therapy?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why can\u2019t I get over them, why do I keep creating them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why do I keep thinking this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s wrong with me having these thoughts, am I a psycho?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We feel deeply responsible for them, so we blame ourselves all the time for having them, for not being able to stop them, eradicate them, or replace them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The judgments create the glue that holds everything together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The judgments keep the nightmare alive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If we\u2019d just see the innocence of the first thoughts, instead of habitually judging ourselves for their existence, no thought in the world would be a problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not a single one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But because it looks like we create them, because we judge what\u2019s going on inside of us, and because we make it about us and our (perceived) intrinsic worthlessness, we innocently keep ourselves trapped in the universe of Not Good Enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The judgments are what hurt us the most and the deepest, not the thoughts themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The judgments are what keep us small, what create endless vicious circles of self-blame and self-hatred and self-loathing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The judgments are the fuel that keeps the fire of self-destruction burning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You know the ones I\u2019m talking about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I shouldn\u2019t think like this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I shouldn\u2019t be like this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I shouldn\u2019t respond like this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I shouldn\u2019t be judging my thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Somehow we believe we should have been able to overcome these things by now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that is exactly what keeps us going in circles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The judgments create the mantra that is so endlessly disappointing, harsh, and self-fulfilling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, is this you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Is this what you do?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And are you interested in putting an end to this?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let\u2019s talk about stopping it and instead invest all of your energy in creating cool stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Send me an email<\/a>, okay?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

—<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photo by @heftiba, for Unsplash)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Many people have a lot of crazy thoughts. It\u2019s simply a very human thing. We have unhelpful thoughts. Negative thoughts. Murderous thoughts. Crushing thoughts. Undermining thoughts. Critical thoughts. Disempowering thoughts. Hateful thoughts. And passive-aggressive thoughts, just to name a few. We have many thoughts that seemingly undermine our experience of happiness and joy and freedom, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":48613,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[99,102,97,96,117,100,105,115,116,113,107,103,112],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48612"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48612"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48612\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48614,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48612\/revisions\/48614"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/48613"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48612"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48612"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48612"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}