{"id":48593,"date":"2023-03-03T08:45:03","date_gmt":"2023-03-03T08:45:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=48593"},"modified":"2023-03-03T08:45:07","modified_gmt":"2023-03-03T08:45:07","slug":"afraid-to-be-big","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2023\/03\/03\/afraid-to-be-big\/","title":{"rendered":"Afraid to be big."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I\u2019m afraid to be big so I play small.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m afraid to be big because big is bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m afraid to be big, for big means being exposed, out in the open, vulnerable, open for judgment and personal attacks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m afraid to be big because small feels much safer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m afraid to be big because it\u2019s all I know (and what I know feels comfortable).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m afraid to be big because that way I can\u2019t fail (even though I feel like a failure anyway).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m afraid to be big because that will put other people in my shadow and they’ll hate me for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m afraid to be big because that would mean big changes and I don\u2019t like big changes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or small changes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or any changes, really.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m afraid to be big because what if I can, what if I am, where would that take me and will I be alone, forever?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m afraid to be big because I don\u2019t think I possess the skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m afraid to be big because I\u2019ll become a shining example for others and what if I don\u2019t have what it takes?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m afraid to be big, but I really WANT to be big, because I just know that big is my true nature, I just know that being big is what I\u2019m here for, and when I\u2019m big who fucking cares about openness and vulnerability and judgments and shadows and people who want me small like they\u2019re used to?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m afraid to be big, but that\u2019s only the tiny old me, the old me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m afraid to be big but I\u2019ll use the fear to grow and expand and ignite and fuel because I no longer fear the fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not afraid to be big.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I love being big.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I AM big.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am HUGE.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A fucking GIANT, that\u2019s what I am!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

—<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Not feeling it? Get your ass over to my website and email me. We’ll wake up the giant within! www.marnix.nl)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

—<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photo by @jor9en, for Unsplash)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m afraid to be big so I play small. I\u2019m afraid to be big because big is bad. I\u2019m afraid to be big, for big means being exposed, out in the open, vulnerable, open for judgment and personal attacks. Not good. I\u2019m afraid to be big because small feels much safer. I\u2019m afraid to be […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":48594,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[99,102,97,96,117,100,105,116,113,107,103,112],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48593"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48593"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48593\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48595,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48593\/revisions\/48595"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/48594"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48593"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48593"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48593"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}