{"id":47955,"date":"2022-09-25T15:38:56","date_gmt":"2022-09-25T15:38:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=47955"},"modified":"2022-09-25T15:39:01","modified_gmt":"2022-09-25T15:39:01","slug":"feeling-moved","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2022\/09\/25\/feeling-moved\/","title":{"rendered":"Feeling moved."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

My neighbors are moving.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ve lived next to each other for over 12 years, and the family of 5 (only since a couple of months) is outgrowing their Amsterdam apartment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So dad is packing the large Volvo, although most of the stuff has already been taken away by the movers, a couple of days ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mom is probably cleaning the house.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my mind I see the kids running around the empty space that has been their home for as long as they can remember.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I feel sad, and a bit down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that\u2019s actually kinda weird, because I don\u2019t know them at all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Uhu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our relationship has been about nodding, sometimes a raised hand and a casual \u2018hey\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I’ve never even talked to them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I feel lonely and blue just the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I feel sad and emotional because my head has instantly made up a vivid story about their move.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In that story, they go to a place that is much more spacious and much lighter, that is closer to nature, and where they have a huge sunny garden to entertain friends and family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In that story, they move on to a way better location, an amazing new family home in the countryside, while I stay here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s almost like they\u2019re betraying me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s quite cruel, even.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leaving me here, moving on to the next brilliant phase of their amazing lives filled with laughter, because they know how to live properly and I don\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So now there’s a throbbing mix of mortality, aging, and lost opportunities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At least that’s how it feels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fucked up shit, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yeah.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So I decide that it\u2019s enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I back away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I consciously move away from the story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The sadness and loneliness pop like a balloon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I obviously have some great moves too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

—<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photo by @pbanselme, for Unsplash)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My neighbors are moving. We\u2019ve lived next to each other for over 12 years, and the family of 5 (only since a couple of months) is outgrowing their Amsterdam apartment. So dad is packing the large Volvo, although most of the stuff has already been taken away by the movers, a couple of days ago. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":47956,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[97,117,100,116,107,103,112],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47955"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47955"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47955\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":47957,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47955\/revisions\/47957"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/47956"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47955"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47955"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47955"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}