{"id":47840,"date":"2022-09-08T09:04:37","date_gmt":"2022-09-08T09:04:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=47840"},"modified":"2022-09-08T09:31:01","modified_gmt":"2022-09-08T09:31:01","slug":"the-cool-truth-about-impostor-syndrome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2022\/09\/08\/the-cool-truth-about-impostor-syndrome\/","title":{"rendered":"The cool truth about impostor syndrome."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Here\u2019s what I know about impostor syndrome.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t exist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But: I get the confusion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I also know quite well what this non-existing phenomenon feels like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s how I see it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes I coach for a couple of weeks and it\u2019s nothing but amazing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m totally slamming all the balls out of the park, it feels good and powerful and natural and effortless, and clients get crazy and yummy results in their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019re having the best time together, the best!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So far so good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then somewhere along the line, the mind comes in (like it always does).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Uh, okay, well, you\u2019ve had your lucky break. Now let\u2019s get serious!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And all at once, the fun is gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I mean: what was I thinking?!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s my coaching about, for real?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What do I actually have to offer: I couldn\u2019t pitch it in a minute so it must be rubbish!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t even know what I\u2019m doing when I’m doing it (which felt really good and playful when I was lost in it, but now starts to look like a flaw or a weakness)!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Other people, PROFESSIONALS, have diplomas and certificates and black belts and frameworks and PhDs!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some practical experience, mostly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A bunch of spiritual insights.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A shelf full of books.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the audacity to jump in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which, all of a sudden, doesn\u2019t feel nearly good and qualified enough for what I do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like there\u2019s no serious ground for my success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sounds familiar?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What we call \u2018impostor syndrome\u2019 is what happens when you just flow around for a while, efficiently, creatively, and effectively, and the mind decides to ruin the party.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s literally no problem and you\u2019re doing what you\u2019re really, REALLY good at, but there\u2019s no real effort and now it all just seems a bit simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Too simple, even.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that\u2019s where the misunderstanding arises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s nothing but overthinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What we call \u2018impostor syndrome\u2019 simply means that you don\u2019t recognize how natural something comes to you and how much it\u2019s a part of you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We don\u2019t see that the things that are easy for us and perfectly straightforward and effortless, can be pretty fucking special for everybody else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We get hired and paid for that amazing shit, and people love and admire us for it, but because it\u2019s so normal for us, we can struggle to see the true value.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At those moments when we start to doubt what we\u2019re doing, it seems like everything that\u2019s worth something in the world has to be difficult, complex, and institutionalized.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And not anything like the sense of ease we have around it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Impostor syndrome\u2019 is what happens when we don\u2019t recognize our authentic flow, when we fail to see our inherent talent and the joy we have while doing it, and simply don\u2019t acknowledge that we\u2019re really good at doing specific stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you’re REALLY amazing at something, it becomes playful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And sometimes it can feel like that doesn\u2019t belong in the workplace, where everything is often very serious and deliberate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Impostor syndrome is a misunderstanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A pretty cool one, actually.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s about underestimating the pure natural quality of what\u2019s going on because it\u2019s not a big deal for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it\u2019s nothing but a bunch of doubts that arise when you don\u2019t need them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s like being in the middle of intense and spontaneous and sweaty sex, and then stopping that delicious lovemaking to read a book about the biological processes that are involved and the techniques of the ancient Greeks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Who cares?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When stuff is flowing, let it flow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It means you own it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when it comes easy to you: congratulations!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Impostor syndrome means you\u2019re exceptionally great at something, at the level where it can just happen through you, and you simply didn\u2019t realize that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How awesome!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

—<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photo by @dariusbashar, for Unsplash)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s what I know about impostor syndrome. It doesn\u2019t exist. But: I get the confusion. And I also know quite well what this non-existing phenomenon feels like. Here\u2019s how I see it. Sometimes I coach for a couple of weeks and it\u2019s nothing but amazing. Everything. I\u2019m totally slamming all the balls out of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":47841,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[102,97,117,100,116,113,107,103,112],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47840"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47840"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47840\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":47845,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47840\/revisions\/47845"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/47841"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47840"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47840"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47840"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}