{"id":47541,"date":"2022-07-27T14:08:17","date_gmt":"2022-07-27T14:08:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=47541"},"modified":"2022-07-27T14:08:26","modified_gmt":"2022-07-27T14:08:26","slug":"playing-the-infinite-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2022\/07\/27\/playing-the-infinite-game\/","title":{"rendered":"Playing the infinite game."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

It seems like I\u2019m always trying to figure out life.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The secret.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The manual.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The ultimate surrendering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Non-doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or doing shitloads.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Looking for answers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or trying to let the answers find me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All that stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And here\u2019s the Fun Realization of the Day:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if I could, I probably don\u2019t REALLY want to know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What would happen in the (pretty unrealistic) case of getting it all, seeing it all, knowing it all, and having it all?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What would it mean to play the Game of Life and finish it, before it\u2019s finished?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thinking about this made me realize that it\u2019s not really about finding the ultimate secret, manual, or surrendering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s about the infinite ways in how this longing for truth can play out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The age-old \u2018journey vs the destination\u2019-thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it works!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My life is very, very rich because of the seeking and exploring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It has made me feel really miserable and lost and divinely victimized for a long time, and it has also given me incredible amounts of joy and fascination and pleasure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Up, down, high, low.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All because of this seeking energy, this urge for absolute recognition, and complete remembering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I think about it, I write about it, I talk about it, and I \u2018coach it\u2019, if that\u2019s even a thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finding the ultimate answer would probably kill all that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now I must admit that there have been quite a few times where I believed I found it, all of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those moments are really cool places to rest, but they never really last for a long time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The \u2018spiritual search\u2019 is what keeps this character going, in ever so subtle ways.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Marnix and his human history are deeply infused with failure, triumph, awakening, and also many disappointments.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Looking for the ultimate answer is not something that has to be fulfilled, per se.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It just keeps it alive and interesting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But what do I know?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

..<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photo by @slavromanov, for Unsplash)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It seems like I\u2019m always trying to figure out life. The secret. The manual. The ultimate surrendering. Non-doing. Or doing shitloads. Looking for answers. Or trying to let the answers find me. All that stuff. And here\u2019s the Fun Realization of the Day: Even if I could, I probably don\u2019t REALLY want to know. What […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":47542,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[99,102,97,96,117,100,116,113,107,103,112],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47541"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47541"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47541\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":47543,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47541\/revisions\/47543"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/47542"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47541"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47541"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}