{"id":47291,"date":"2022-07-03T17:00:49","date_gmt":"2022-07-03T17:00:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=47291"},"modified":"2022-07-03T17:00:53","modified_gmt":"2022-07-03T17:00:53","slug":"therapy-for-haters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2022\/07\/03\/therapy-for-haters\/","title":{"rendered":"Therapy for haters."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I was thinking about how my posts land differently, with different readers.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It seems I have a sweet little group of people who appreciate almost everything I write (cool, for sure!), and it\u2019s my educated guess that there are also many people who read it, close the blog again, and get on with their day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So there seems to be some direct and positive impact, AND -at best- some impact that\u2019s not real impact yet, but might one day become just that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then there are the people who are in a really bad place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve noticed that some of them find my posts very insulting and diminishing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s like they believe that I\u2019m describing their lives, and deliberately underline their failure to live it better than is currently the case.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some people take what I write really personally in the most negative way possible, and blame me for not being realistic or not appreciating the complexity and darkness of their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As if I don\u2019t give a shit, as if I\u2019m laughing my ass off because of their miserable existence, and my posts are vile ways to rub it in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let me tell you: when these people respond, angry and upset and offensive, I don\u2019t like it very much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I\u2019ve also learned to wait a bit, let the initial spontaneous backfire energy settle down, and either respond to them in a kind and respectful way, or just block the fuck out of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t write blogs to hurt people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t share all this stuff to say I know what people should do or what they are doing wrong, because that\u2019s none of my business.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I\u2019m also not underestimating how hard life can be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Just saying.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now if you tell me \u2018Well Marnix, it\u2019s up to them to either read or not read your posts, right?\u2019, I totally agree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have a history of hating my stuff, then it\u2019s asking for trouble to keep indulging in it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I guess some people ARE asking for trouble.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe their temporary eruption of rage and dissatisfaction allows them to forget about their day-to-day problems, and maybe it helps them a bit to beam their burning sense of unhappiness at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a way, that makes what I do extra helpful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s just a weird fucking way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

—<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photo by @simran01_fashionphotography, for Unsplash)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I was thinking about how my posts land differently, with different readers. It seems I have a sweet little group of people who appreciate almost everything I write (cool, for sure!), and it\u2019s my educated guess that there are also many people who read it, close the blog again, and get on with their day. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":47292,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[102,97,117,100,116,107,103,112],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47291"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47291"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47291\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":47293,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47291\/revisions\/47293"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/47292"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47291"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47291"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47291"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}