{"id":47252,"date":"2022-06-30T09:44:05","date_gmt":"2022-06-30T09:44:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=47252"},"modified":"2022-06-30T09:44:13","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T09:44:13","slug":"life-after-the-goal","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2022\/06\/30\/life-after-the-goal\/","title":{"rendered":"Life after the goal."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Our apparent incapacity of loving life exactly as it is, no matter what, is both essential and torturous.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Essential because, well, because it\u2019s there, which needs no further reasoning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you want one: it\u2019s also essential because it seems to be an amazingly powerful fuel for us to go out and attain things and careers and situations and Rolexes and sexy sex partners.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course it\u2019s also torturous because it makes everything way more complicated and painful than it could be, theoretically.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The constant search for relief that leads us to acquire things and go after stuff and want achievements, almost always leads to disappointment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was just reflecting on goals and dreams and other things we reflect on and turn into future possessions, and I realized that whatever situational or physical goal I\u2019ve had in life, there\u2019s always an \u2018after the fact\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ve worked for it, maybe for many years, it\u2019s finally there, it feels good\u2026. until it doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I\u2019ve done it, I got it, yeah!! But…. now what?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And the whole thing begins all over again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is of course part of the agonizing beauty and wonder of life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s so much potential drama and excitement in lack and desire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s so much (at least apparent) power in wanting to leave a certain situation behind and \u2018make something out of life\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So we obviously need all of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But at the same time we all know, deep inside, that no matter what it is, no matter what title, job, house, relationship, body, or amount of books we publish as an author, there\u2019ll always be the moment after the achievement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next phase.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The new search.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The fresh lack and the blossoming desire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that\u2019s exactly why \u2018just being happy\u2019 or \u2018living a fulfilled life\u2019 is so deliciously meta, and so incredibly valuable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It makes all the goals and dreams in the world optional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can still become a multi-billionaire and buy an island to have sex with sexy sex partners all day long, or you keep sweeping the modest terrace of your tiny cottage in the countryside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can write 20 books that become bestsellers, or you can write poems that are appreciated by 3 people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can own the biggest airline in the world, or you can have an old canary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because if you start from happiness and ease, if you\u2019re able to appreciate life because you\u2019re living it and feeling it and part of it, all those things are no longer seen as the way to achieve peace of mind or sustainable joy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course I know that it\u2019s easy to write about this, and that attaining that basically simple state of happiness always turns out to be a challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Our preferences get in the way, and our ideas about what life should be like compared to how it actually is, are always ready to fuck up the current moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not saying something new.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is SO obvious that most of us find it really boring and uninspiring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But that doesn\u2019t keep me from rubbing it in your face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

—<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photo by @rruprrup, for Unsplash)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Our apparent incapacity of loving life exactly as it is, no matter what, is both essential and torturous. Essential because, well, because it\u2019s there, which needs no further reasoning. And if you want one: it\u2019s also essential because it seems to be an amazingly powerful fuel for us to go out and attain things and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":47253,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[99,102,97,117,100,105,116,113,107,103,112],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47252"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47252"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47252\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":47254,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47252\/revisions\/47254"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/47253"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47252"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47252"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47252"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}