{"id":47213,"date":"2022-06-27T13:43:28","date_gmt":"2022-06-27T13:43:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=47213"},"modified":"2022-06-27T13:43:33","modified_gmt":"2022-06-27T13:43:33","slug":"forgetting-that-we-forget","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2022\/06\/27\/forgetting-that-we-forget\/","title":{"rendered":"Forgetting that we forget."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I did some emotional calculations.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In my 54 years on earth, I must have been angry at least 28.647 times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I felt depressed for almost 2 years straight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve been anxious more than 31.298 times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Deeply annoyed for at least 8 months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I spent probably 1.8 years worrying, if you add it all up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s ridiculous.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Absolutely bonkers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Especially since I never think about it anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every single one of those million episodes, no matter what the feeling, is forgotten about once it’s passed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Shitty moods, fucked up days: they don\u2019t last.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They\u2019re there for a bit, then leave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And after they\u2019re gone, they\u2019re just gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Until, of course, they\u2019re replaced by the same old stupid shit that feels as important and absorbing as the first time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We hate those moods and states of mind, because we always forget that we forget.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Every time we feel like shit, it feels like the worst and shittiest time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like it never happened before, and went away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is because our moods are really convincing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today I had 18 varying instances of anger, 12 bouts of frustration, 5 attempts at worrying, and 37 moments where I felt a deep relief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or something like that (because: who’s counting).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What helps, in my case, is that I know this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know this very, very well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This takes away most of the edge, even though emotions and feelings can be truly convincing, and still are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s just that I\u2019ve learned to keep it cool, most of the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To stay grounded, firmly connected to my inner neutrality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most of the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But that makes a world of difference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

—<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photo by @denizen, for Unsplash)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I did some emotional calculations. In my 54 years on earth, I must have been angry at least 28.647 times. I felt depressed for almost 2 years straight. I\u2019ve been anxious more than 31.298 times. Deeply annoyed for at least 8 months. And I spent probably 1.8 years worrying, if you add it all up. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":47214,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[102,97,117,100,116,113,107,103,112],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47213"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47213"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47213\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":47215,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47213\/revisions\/47215"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/47214"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47213"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47213"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47213"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}