{"id":46852,"date":"2022-05-23T11:08:05","date_gmt":"2022-05-23T11:08:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=46852"},"modified":"2022-05-23T11:08:09","modified_gmt":"2022-05-23T11:08:09","slug":"selling-the-dream","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2022\/05\/23\/selling-the-dream\/","title":{"rendered":"Selling The Dream."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Let\u2019s open up another can of vulnerability.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here\u2019s what happens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I write blogs and I don\u2019t really hold back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I share almost everything that\u2019s on my mind, even if it\u2019s a bit dubious or weird.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A lot of people love it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They appreciate it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They even praise me for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And then, in honor of my sincerity and courage (and theirs), they hire me to coach them, and pay me a shitload of money.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Haha!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No they don\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because no matter how hard and how wholeheartedly people say they want a real, human, messy coach: that\u2019s not ultimately true, most of the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I get that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

People, in general, want The Dream, they want improvement and security and shiny stuff, so they will mostly hire a coach who talks about getting them exactly that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They want a mix of Tony Robbins, Byron Katie, Elon Musk, and Eckhart Tolle, elegantly covered in slick Instagram wrapping paper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And, sure, they don\u2019t mind a bit of honesty, as long as it\u2019s curated and safe, stuff like \u2018I cry when I watch a sad movie\u2019, or \u2018I have been depressed too, for a week, five years ago\u2019, or \u2018Sometimes I feel insecure\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They want to be easily convinced, they want their expectations to be met upfront, and there\u2019s nothing more appealing than perception, image, and presentation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s all fine when a person is real and raw and open and fucked up, but as a coach?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nah.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And you know what?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t even blame them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course people want the dream, hell, I often want the fucking dream!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I totally get it that they long to be the Best You Ever, or The You That You Deserve To Be, or the You That Makes A Difference In The World.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I get it that they want a life that\u2019s at least ten times better, covered in thick swirls of comfort and luxury and public appreciation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I get it that shiny promises of a constantly improving future taste way more palatable than the endless amount of abstract stuff I usually talk about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As a matter of fact: I admire and celebrate my clients for following their intuition and hiring me as their coach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s quite brave, and somewhat rebellious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Without getting all the obvious promises and the usual goal-setting stuff, they recognize something that seems more valuable and sustainable to them, they somehow realize that they might not even know what it is they really want, but trust me to help them find it anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s pretty awesome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes I doubt this less-established approach of mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes I reflect on adopting a more mainstream coaching presentation, and I think about what it would be like to take that shinier, more obvious route, with the big white smile, wearing a handsome suit that\u2019s covered with Mandela quotes, while driving my purple Lamborghini.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it\u2019s tempting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That dream.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So damn sexy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And why the hell not!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But then I lose interest, I always do, because, well, I don\u2019t fucking know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And after that, I realize how chronically okay I am, how simple and fulfilling and rich life has become, and how much sweet light has found its way into my heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s what I coach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In that order.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First and foremost, the flow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The rest is up for grabs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s incredibly, incre-di-bly satisfying to discover that you don\u2019t really NEED to chase The Dream (which can still be optional).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it\u2019s almost impossible to sell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

—<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photo by @limpido, for Unsplash)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let\u2019s open up another can of vulnerability. Here\u2019s what happens. I write blogs and I don\u2019t really hold back. I share almost everything that\u2019s on my mind, even if it\u2019s a bit dubious or weird. A lot of people love it. They appreciate it. They even praise me for it. And then, in honor of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":46853,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[99,102,97,96,117,100,105,115,116,113,107,103,112],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46852"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=46852"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46852\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":46854,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46852\/revisions\/46854"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/46853"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=46852"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=46852"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=46852"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}