{"id":46815,"date":"2022-05-21T09:34:20","date_gmt":"2022-05-21T09:34:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=46815"},"modified":"2022-05-21T09:34:31","modified_gmt":"2022-05-21T09:34:31","slug":"losing-my-beliefs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2022\/05\/21\/losing-my-beliefs\/","title":{"rendered":"Losing my beliefs."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

It\u2019s hard: to believe stuff and then see that belief disappear.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hard, and weird, and also a bit painful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One moment you\u2019re certain about something, the next it doesn\u2019t match up anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The belief is gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Poof!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve seen this happen in my life many, many times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Things made total sense for a while (or even for a long time), and then lost their credibility, their obviousness, sometimes really quick, sometimes over time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not something I\u2019m looking for, not a deliberate decision.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I kinda like the beliefs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They make things easier, they set boundaries, and they can make stuff clear and uncluttered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So once they\u2019re gone, they leave an empty space for a while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the things I deeply believed in that left me quite recently, was my profound acceptance of and faith in Near-Death Experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For more than six months I watched hundreds of videos about it, read a number of books, and talked about it with people who’d had an NDE, or who studied people who had one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So it made sense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And learning more about it felt comforting and exciting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I even started looking into spirit guides, angels, and archangels for a while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But that belief, that fascination is gone (and I never saw the angels).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not that all of a sudden I think it\u2019s bullshit or now I\u2019m against it; it\u2019s more like I\u2019ve lost the natural, direct connection with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At first, it felt possible, then I was really sure about it for a while, and now it\u2019s vanished again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another ‘Poof!’.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I don\u2019t really know how to look at this or what to do with it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

These disappearing beliefs leave me wondering, they always ignite some confusion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it begs the question:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What happened to my inclination to acknowledge NDEs?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or all the other things I felt excited about and effortlessly owned for a while?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How can I be so certain of something for years, and then lose my interest and the absolute trust that it\u2019s true?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m glad, though, that these experiences haven\u2019t made me blas\u00e9 or cold and uninterested, but I also have no clue what my next belief will be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I hope I\u2019ll find a new one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I like them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They add an extra dimension to life, they open up new spaces to explore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, there\u2019s always the possibility that no fresh belief will present itself, ever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe I\u2019m out of options.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I don\u2019t really believe that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

—<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photo by @polarmermaid, for Unsplash)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s hard: to believe stuff and then see that belief disappear. Hard, and weird, and also a bit painful. One moment you\u2019re certain about something, the next it doesn\u2019t match up anymore. The belief is gone. Poof! I\u2019ve seen this happen in my life many, many times. Things made total sense for a while (or […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":46816,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[97,117,100,116,113,103,112],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46815"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=46815"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46815\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":46817,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46815\/revisions\/46817"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/46816"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=46815"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=46815"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=46815"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}