{"id":46799,"date":"2022-05-18T12:22:08","date_gmt":"2022-05-18T12:22:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=46799"},"modified":"2022-05-18T12:22:11","modified_gmt":"2022-05-18T12:22:11","slug":"what-it-means-to-accept","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2022\/05\/18\/what-it-means-to-accept\/","title":{"rendered":"What it means to accept."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I think I finally know what \u2018acceptance\u2019 means.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or what it CAN mean, or be, at least.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And what it actually feels like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It’s really new and fresh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Acceptance and accepting used to be concepts that I carried around for a long time, things that confused me, things that seemed to get away from me, like exotic survival skills that I had to learn and own but could never really conquer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I always thought accepting was an activity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Something similar to agreeing to stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Observing it, weighing it, then deciding to let it go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I thought it was about being in charge, like you\u2019re somehow superior to or above something, and now you choose to no longer let it harm you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I thought it was like setting a bird free.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To me, it looked that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And of course I regarded it as a super tool, a method of wellbeing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

By accepting something it wouldn\u2019t hurt so much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wouldn\u2019t be afraid the way I used to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This made accepting very conditional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There were goals attached to it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was supposed to make me feel better or make me look good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It saw it as a magic wand that could delete all the stuff I didn\u2019t like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yeah.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because I realized that accepting is not an activity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not a (seemingly humble) way to get things done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not a trick or a scheme to feel better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accepting is a realization.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s knowing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Knowing, but not judging.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pure knowing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seeing the absolute direct truth of whatever is going on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s simply acknowledging the beautiful inevitability of life.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s knowing the moment, seeing the moment, and realizing that it could have never been any different than it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not on an intellectual level.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The intellect only allows for so much acceptance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It has limits, which it will gladly and fiercely defend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No sir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

True acceptance, at least the way I see it now, goes beyond that<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s actually neutral.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accepting is not about complying, it\u2019s not the same as agreeing, and it\u2019s also not a form of allowing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accepting is not the same as condoning, justifying, or even surrendering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those things still speak of levels, preferences, or opinions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accepting is not that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accepting is feeling the space around whatever happens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It IS that space.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s seeing boredom as an experience, without the need to agree to it or do anything about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s seeing sadness, hate, hunger, pain, desire, grumpiness, being horny and deep despair without adding anything to it, without wishing it away, without the need to squash it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s feeling whatever feeling there is, period.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not like you\u2019re allowing the universe to do what it does anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s seeing that it can never be what it\u2019s not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not even thinking that it\u2019s perfect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because it\u2019s not thinking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s being with, being around, and being as everything that is going on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Without any added layers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Without wishing for a result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s beyond being okay with life, because it\u2019s also NOT being okay with life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And simply noticing that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s the sense of being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not being something, but being, itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s without any agenda.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or preference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or even the smallest hope for a specific outcome.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it\u2019s including all of those things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not something you do, or don\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It doesn\u2019t get you anywhere, except for where you already are.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Accepting is not about before and after.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s the purest now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

—<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photo by @bthjnr, for Unsplash)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I think I finally know what \u2018acceptance\u2019 means. Or what it CAN mean, or be, at least. And what it actually feels like. It’s really new and fresh. Acceptance and accepting used to be concepts that I carried around for a long time, things that confused me, things that seemed to get away from me, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":46800,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[97,117,100,105,116,113,103,112],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46799"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=46799"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46799\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":46801,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46799\/revisions\/46801"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/46800"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=46799"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=46799"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=46799"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}