{"id":46744,"date":"2022-05-13T15:05:07","date_gmt":"2022-05-13T15:05:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=46744"},"modified":"2022-05-13T15:05:10","modified_gmt":"2022-05-13T15:05:10","slug":"belonging-nowhere","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2022\/05\/13\/belonging-nowhere\/","title":{"rendered":"Belonging nowhere."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Here\u2019s a confession.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish I was an NLP practitioner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes I wish I was a poor Buddhist monk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish I was fully engaged in non-duality, organizing meetings where I could tell all the ignorant nobodies that they don\u2019t exist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish I was absolutely clear about the Law of Attraction, so I could attract unlimited amounts of clients.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish I was madly in love with plant medicine, Tibetan bowls, or shamanic rituals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or ecstatic dance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or yoga.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish I was a full-on 3P teacher, only talking about mind, consciousness, and thought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish a was a Primal Warrior, camping naked in the woods, doing divine masculine stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish I was a Wim Hof practitioner, feeling like ice baths and breathing are the solutions to literally everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish I was 100% into the Work of Byron Katie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or a happy student of the Sedona Method.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish I could be totally lost in the polyvagal theory.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe minimalism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish angels were my thing, so I’d never feel alone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish I would be happy exploring and expanding my chakras, and do nothing but that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And sometimes I wish I\u2019d be totally into science and reason.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish I was somehow involved with something that made life simpler, something I could hang on to, something that would provide all the answers to every question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish there was something I could totally embrace, a club, or a label, using the rest of my days to try and own it fully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even if it\u2019s fly fishing, so I could be a fly fisherman amongst the other fly fishers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or something like a passionate football fan.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or a long-bearded, tattooed, craft beer aficionado.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or just a person deeply in love with ultra marathons, board games, or exotic poodles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish I could fold this human existence around a specific way of thinking and behaving, making that the most important phenomenon, the Number One Thing, the seed of comfort and hope and power and clarity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wish I could believe a single point of view, have a single hobby or passion, and believe in it SO deeply that it would make sense to believe nothing else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The idea of not having to figure it out anymore because you\u2019re now part of something that will take care of you, must be amazing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It must be so incredibly rewarding and soothing to be part of a group, whatever group, and start wearing it like a uniform, or a warm and comfortable coat, and spend your time with others doing and believing the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

God, that would be so amazing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So simple.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I am and have and believe none of those things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

None.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not because I don\u2019t want to (because I really do, believe me).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It also has got nothing to do with being beyond that or feeling superior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All my life I\u2019ve been looking for something to immerse myself in and fuck around with and feel endlessly connected to, but it has never happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All the things I’ve tried eventually lost their attraction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All the groups that looked promising couldn’t win me over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s nothing I totally identify with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not even coaching, writing, or fatherhood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a way, I\u2019m deeply lost.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A drifter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fortunately, a pretty grounded one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

—<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photo by @joshuaearle, for Unsplash)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here\u2019s a confession. I wish I was an NLP practitioner. Sometimes I wish I was a poor Buddhist monk. I wish I was fully engaged in non-duality, organizing meetings where I could tell all the ignorant nobodies that they don\u2019t exist. I wish I was absolutely clear about the Law of Attraction, so I could […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":46745,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[97,117,100,116,113,107,103,112],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46744"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=46744"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46744\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":46746,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46744\/revisions\/46746"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/46745"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=46744"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=46744"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=46744"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}