{"id":46677,"date":"2022-05-04T11:55:41","date_gmt":"2022-05-04T11:55:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=46677"},"modified":"2022-05-04T11:55:44","modified_gmt":"2022-05-04T11:55:44","slug":"why-being-jealous-is-totally-fine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2022\/05\/04\/why-being-jealous-is-totally-fine\/","title":{"rendered":"Why being jealous is totally fine."},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I don\u2019t really like it, but I also don\u2019t mind sharing it.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s a lot of envy in my life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I regularly experience moments of deep jealousy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I see people\u2019s success and I want it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I see the stuff they attain and collect and own and visit, and it feels like it should have been me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Definitely not all the time (and some days more than others).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it happens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So why don\u2019t I call myself jealous?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why don\u2019t I just say \u2018I am envious\u2019?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, because I\u2019m not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that\u2019s a HUGE difference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hear me out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m sharing this because we all live through confusing things and events like these.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Things we don\u2019t really like, things that feel bad, things we are ashamed about, shitty things.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Things like judgment, jealousy, or wishing someone didn\u2019t look so fucking hot all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Things like wishing the other person wouldn\u2019t be so lucky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Things like comparing ourselves to others, and then losing the comparison.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Things we really don\u2019t like to talk about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Things we are likely to be ashamed of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s why I mention them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m sharing this because you can wake up to the fact that all this mental stuff, all this comparing and judging and shitty envying, is not really you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re not willfully, consciously doing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019re not bad, or damaged, or fucked up, and you\u2019re most certainly not an inferior human being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not you doing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s merely learned, habitual experience that just happens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s human creation, coming and going whether you want it or not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a mind doing mind stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And you are so much more than that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now let\u2019s talk about responsibility for this behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Simple: you don’t have it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only responsibility you have is to not believe it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s all, and it\u2019s enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You don\u2019t need to lose yourself in it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or constantly try to change it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or hate yourself for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And take it personally.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because it\u2019s not.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s not you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s a human, mental event that comes with its own experiential, very convincing taste.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And here’s a question for you: if it WAS you, wouldn’t it feel amazing and rewarding all the time?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Does it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you like it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Do you really want it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Exactly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

—<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

(Photo by @choys_, for Unsplash)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I don\u2019t really like it, but I also don\u2019t mind sharing it. There\u2019s a lot of envy in my life. I regularly experience moments of deep jealousy. I see people\u2019s success and I want it. I see the stuff they attain and collect and own and visit, and it feels like it should have been […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":46678,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[97,117,100,116,113,107,103,112],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46677"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=46677"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46677\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":46679,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46677\/revisions\/46679"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/46678"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=46677"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=46677"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=46677"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}