With all these \u2018spiritual\u2019 blogs I post, written with so much certainty, it\u2019s easy to lend me a bit of credibility or authority or even some mastery.<\/p>\n
Hell, sometimes I even believe that myself!<\/p>\n
But it\u2019s not that simple.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not a linear thing, let alone an exponentially exciting experience without any holes or hurdles.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not about knowing better and better and better, always stacking one piece of wisdom onto the next.<\/p>\n
I forget.<\/p>\n
I forget what seemed so obvious yesterday, and now feel lost in the unknown again.<\/p>\n
I forget, and even if I don\u2019t forget, I can still lose the connection that felt so direct and true and wise.<\/p>\n
Because every time I write something, I am in a slightly or sometimes vastly different frame of mind, a different level of consciousness (for a lack of better words).<\/p>\n
I am more or less lost in the personal mind, and moved by moods.<\/p>\n
And what can seem totally clear and solid one day, can look utterly unattainable or inexplicable or even ridiculous the next.<\/p>\n
I can be touched and deliciously overwhelmed by a deep insight in the morning, and feel crudely lost that same afternoon.<\/p>\n
But in the end, I simply share what I believe to be true in the moment.<\/p>\n
Which is not very consistent, or congruent.<\/p>\n
It IS true, however, that some fundamental realizations have landed in a very deep way, but many times my utter humanness trumps the wisdom that is so easily available when the mind is really smooth and docile.<\/p>\n
A rare occasion.<\/p>\n
I can reread my own blogs and cringingly go \u2018Oh man, why the fuck did I write this, how presumptuous and arrogant!\u2019<\/p>\n
I can think of myself as being overly na\u00efve, utterly simplistic, deeply unrealistic, or even completely in denial.<\/p>\n
Experiences shift, our direct sense of reality and the world and our lives shifts, and with every one of these changes, we can lose some clarity, certainty, and confidence.<\/p>\n
At least temporarily.<\/p>\n
And it\u2019s confusing and inconsistent, and it can shake our core.<\/p>\n
But it\u2019s also not a big deal.<\/p>\n
As human beings, confusion is one of the biggest reasons to look for control.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s also one of the reasons I write.<\/p>\n
Writing calms me down.<\/p>\n
It gives me what I need in the moment.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And that happens to be the one that really counts.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
—<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
(Photo by @sanderweeteling, for Unsplash)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
You might think that I know what I am talking about. With all these \u2018spiritual\u2019 blogs I post, written with so much certainty, it\u2019s easy to lend me a bit of credibility or authority or even some mastery. Hell, sometimes I even believe that myself! But it\u2019s not that simple. It\u2019s not a linear thing, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":34545,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[97,117,100,116,113,107,103,112],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34544"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34544"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34544\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":34546,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34544\/revisions\/34546"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/34545"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34544"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34544"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34544"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}