{"id":32271,"date":"2021-06-15T12:24:44","date_gmt":"2021-06-15T12:24:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=32271"},"modified":"2021-06-15T12:25:17","modified_gmt":"2021-06-15T12:25:17","slug":"comparing-your-life-to-what-doesnt-exist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2021\/06\/15\/comparing-your-life-to-what-doesnt-exist\/","title":{"rendered":"Comparing your life to what doesn’t exist."},"content":{"rendered":"
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It\u2019s not you.<\/span><\/h3>\n<\/div>\n
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I know you think it is, but it\u2019s not.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I know you think you\u2019re the only one who lacks the confidence and the success and the ideas and the money and the courage and the dream life.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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That it\u2019s you and JUST YOU who\u2019s missing out.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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But it\u2019s not.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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As a coach, I talk to people about their insecurity and struggle every single day, and the stories are all the same.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Which makes sense.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Because the thing is: we are always only directly aware of the chaos in OUR head.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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When we look at other people we don\u2019t see the mess, the war, the discomfort and confusion they experience.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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We don\u2019t see or hear the shrieking bats in their head, but project calmness and confidence on the faces around us.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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So it\u2019s not a fair comparison.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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But we do it anyway.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Now I know this is not rocket science, but I also know we forget it constantly.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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We are all really confused and insecure, at least on a mental level, but it seems the only one who is suffering from it, is you.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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We all compare -it\u2019s a human thing- and most of the time it just doesn\u2019t seem we\u2019re winning the game.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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So what if you REALLY realized this fact?<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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What if you REALLY got it, and what if it stayed with you while you\u2019re scrolling through your timeline, watching piles and piles of carefully curated success and happiness go by?<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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What if you REALLY recognize that we are all in this together?<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I bet it would help you settle down.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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It would make you smile at strangers, thinking:<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I get you, I see you, I appreciate you.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I know how you feel.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Don\u2019t worry.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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It\u2019s not you.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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 <\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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—<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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 <\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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(Photo by @lshphoto, for Unsplash)<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It\u2019s not you. I know you think it is, but it\u2019s not. I know you think you\u2019re the only one who lacks the confidence and the success and the ideas and the money and the courage and the dream life. That it\u2019s you and JUST YOU who\u2019s missing out. But it\u2019s not. As a coach, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":32272,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[99,97,117,100,116,113,103],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32271"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32271"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32271\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32274,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32271\/revisions\/32274"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/32272"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32271"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32271"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32271"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}