{"id":32265,"date":"2021-06-15T11:04:01","date_gmt":"2021-06-15T11:04:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=32265"},"modified":"2021-06-15T11:04:01","modified_gmt":"2021-06-15T11:04:01","slug":"enjoying-the-play","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2021\/06\/15\/enjoying-the-play\/","title":{"rendered":"Enjoying the play."},"content":{"rendered":"
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Let\u2019s talk about options.<\/span><\/h3>\n<\/div>\n
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Not just two, or five, but millions and millions.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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All the options in the world, now and forever.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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So what about them?<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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They didn\u2019t exist, previously.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I never really had them (or even thought that it would be a possibility), before I cleaned up my act.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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As a grown up, for decades, I just had a couple.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Anger was one.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Victimhood another.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Passive-aggressive behavior a powerful third one.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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And there was jealousy, distrust and anxiety.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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None of them very pleasant or inspiring.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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None of them options you\u2019d invite to brighten up your spring garden party.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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But they were what I had to work with.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Conditioned responses, habits, automation.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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The days were long and dark.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I just didn\u2019t know.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I didn\u2019t know that mental suggestions were just suggestions.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I didn\u2019t know my thoughts didn\u2019t really belong to me, and they most certainly didn\u2019t represent me.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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All this stuff that I took so seriously wasn\u2019t the Me me.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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(The Me that is also You.)<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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The Me that is always there, untainted by life\u2019s hassle.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I didn’t know.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Then the waking up thing started.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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And waking up and experiencing that Me created endless options.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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When I stopped being guided and fucked over by burning impulses and itching animal instincts, I became aware of a space before everything that was just pure, peaceful and incredibly powerful potential (which is not only a nice alliteration, but also a different description for the Me that can\u2019t really be captured in words).<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Here I was, sweet spacious space, being the Me, watching all these things arise that I used to think were me or belonged to me (the small me, the personal me, the mental construction me, the Always Lacking me).<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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It blew everything open.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Because after a little getting used to, nowadays (at least most of the time) I get to sit front row in the Marnix play, and I can do with that spectacle whatever I want.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Believe it, indulge in it, fight it, laugh about it, ask for more or ignore it completely.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I have options.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Lots of them.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Instead of diving headfirst in whatever smelly programmed response expresses itself first, I just sit and watch and wait.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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The momentum stays with consciousness, not with habituation.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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And that opens up a whole universe of new possibilities.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Millions and millions and millions.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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And the only thing I have to do, is pick the one that feels intuitively right.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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The one that is the most Me.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Incredible.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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—<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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(Photo by @gwenking, for Unsplash)<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Let\u2019s talk about options. Not just two, or five, but millions and millions. All the options in the world, now and forever. So what about them? They didn\u2019t exist, previously. I never really had them (or even thought that it would be a possibility), before I cleaned up my act. As a grown up, for […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":32266,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[99,97,117,100,105,116,113,103],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32265"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=32265"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32265\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32267,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/32265\/revisions\/32267"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/32266"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=32265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=32265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=32265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}