{"id":31365,"date":"2021-05-02T11:04:47","date_gmt":"2021-05-02T11:04:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=31365"},"modified":"2021-05-02T11:04:47","modified_gmt":"2021-05-02T11:04:47","slug":"hang-in-there","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2021\/05\/02\/hang-in-there\/","title":{"rendered":"Hang in there."},"content":{"rendered":"
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I am sorry you feel so bad.<\/span><\/h3>\n<\/div>\n
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I respect your experience, and even though I\u2019d like to change it for you, I probably can\u2019t.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I am sorry for that.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I know how hard it is when life seems dull, and unfair, and bleak, and depressing, and useless, just like you.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I know how you can wake up in the morning and within seconds, the misery that you consider to be your existence, is downloaded and in place again.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Another day.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Ugh.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I am sorry that it looks so real and repetitive, and I know how unfair it looks.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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And feels.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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The feeling you carry around with you, the heavy, dark, tiresome feeling.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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The despair.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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The incapability to change your outcome.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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The stuckness.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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The repetition.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I am sorry that it might look to you that I don\u2019t understand about pain, and that I am just in denial of what\u2019s out there.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I get it.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Because I was that you.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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For almost 40 years.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Downloading the same paralyzing story first thing in the morning.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Looking around in a hopeless world.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Feeling lonely and lost.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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And loathing people who had easy lives, who didn\u2019t respect what I was going through, who were just painfully na\u00efve and unaware of the real problems people have, the dark secrets, the thick, heavy blanket of frustration I was wearing.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I was that you.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Tired, lonely, in a world that didn\u2019t make sense, didn\u2019t seem to care about me.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Until I realized (and it took me quite some time, to be very honest) that I was not that at all.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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It LOOKED like it, it TASTED like it, it FELT like it.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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It was as real as real can be.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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But it wasn\u2019t true.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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It wasn’t.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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This post will probably not help you see what I saw, and bring what it brought me.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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It will probably not lift the heavy sadness of this day, and it will probably not force the light in that you are so deeply longing for.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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And I\u2019m sorry for that.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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But the pain isn\u2019t you.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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It is just the idea of you, the stubborn habit of you, the story of you.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I can\u2019t make you see, with these words, but life will.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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It will.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Just hang in there.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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—<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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(Photo by @hoachld, for Unsplash)<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am sorry you feel so bad. I respect your experience, and even though I\u2019d like to change it for you, I probably can\u2019t. I am sorry for that. I know how hard it is when life seems dull, and unfair, and bleak, and depressing, and useless, just like you. I know how you can […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":31366,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[99,97,117,100,116,113,103],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31365"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31365"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31365\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31367,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31365\/revisions\/31367"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/31366"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31365"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31365"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31365"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}