{"id":31299,"date":"2021-04-24T08:48:36","date_gmt":"2021-04-24T08:48:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/?p=31299"},"modified":"2021-04-24T08:48:36","modified_gmt":"2021-04-24T08:48:36","slug":"trusting-the-bigger-picture","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/2021\/04\/24\/trusting-the-bigger-picture\/","title":{"rendered":"Trusting the bigger picture."},"content":{"rendered":"
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What if you don\u2019t really have a clue?<\/span><\/h3>\n<\/div>\n
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(Because it is actually true.)<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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What if you think you know what you need, what you want, what would make your life complete\u2026 but it\u2019s mostly rubbish?<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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You see, I mastered in addiction, depression, anxiety and being a cynical cowardly idiot because I was held hostage by addiction, depression and anxiety.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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That painful and dark history (which took almost 30 years of my life) was part of my specific curriculum.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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It almost destroyed me, but it also inspired me to find the strength to change it all.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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To start fresh.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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To not want all of that anymore.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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So it was good, it turned out really well.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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But I had no clue.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I never picked this road.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I didn\u2019t say \u2018please make me miserable for decades so I can appreciate life in a completely new way after I have lived through suicidal ideation!\u2019.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Yet it happened.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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And it turned out to be essential for who I am right now, where I am, how I feel, what I do, what I care about and how I trust life.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I didn\u2019t know, I didn\u2019t aspire to receive all the pain and confusion and hangovers.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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But I got lost in it anyway, almost drowned in it, which prepared me for a kind of resurrection and a life filled with light and appreciation.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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I didn\u2019t know.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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Because how could I?<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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We don\u2019t know what it means, where it will bring us, how we someday will look back and realize how important and valuable it was, what it taught us.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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We don\u2019t understand pain and misery and crippling doubt from a broader perspective.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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We are just not capable of seeing the bigger picture.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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But we at least can know THAT.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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We can be aware of the fact that we\u2019re not aware, that we haven\u2019t got a clue what it all means and where it will take us, and by doing so avoid the bigger craziness and despair.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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We really haven\u2019t got a clue.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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And if you can change that from a terrifying conclusion to an exciting mantra, you are good to go.<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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So… what\u2019s next!<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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—<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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(Photo by @ibrahimmushan, for Unsplash)<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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\u00a0<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What if you don\u2019t really have a clue? (Because it is actually true.) What if you think you know what you need, what you want, what would make your life complete\u2026 but it\u2019s mostly rubbish? You see, I mastered in addiction, depression, anxiety and being a cynical cowardly idiot because I was held hostage by […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":31300,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":""},"categories":[99,97,117,100,116,113,103],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31299"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31299"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31299\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31301,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31299\/revisions\/31301"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/31300"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31299"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31299"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/marnix.nl\/homepage\/welkom\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31299"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}